I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize