I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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