I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
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This is an act of terrorism.
Report? what? You apparently have no respect for the American Flag, so what is there to report?
Explain to me how a dude fucking a chick while wearing an American flag is not one of the most patriotic act a man can do? Someone should hand this man a poncho, and catch him a cab.
After you throw yourself off a bridge or tall building...
Nationalism is overrated anyway