roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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