By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
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