make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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