I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
