Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
People with herpes should wear stickers.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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