He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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