i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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