i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
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