is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
