And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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