apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
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