How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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