Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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