I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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