You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
