Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Randomize
