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  • 80 73
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 9, 09 at 10:05pm

    i doubt 9:51 is getting many offers anyway considering he's actually fucking stupid enough to say "no way in he'll." seriously though, i hope that was some kind of joke.

  • 77 78
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 9, 09 at 8:12pm

    Most girls think they give "awesome blow jobs," unfortunately most do not, you got to talk them through it, gets old. Too many marks telling them they do it right, when they really don't

  • 75 82
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 9, 09 at 9:45pm

    Hey 8:31, if a guy Is not an amazing lay who knows what he's doing in 2009, he's just asking for for her to cheat. Guys can't handle it when the tables are turned.

  • 66 70
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 9, 09 at 9:28pm

    8:31 is a douche bag. I give head but like fuck not all girls want to suck your cock. Sorry honey, try washing.

  • 74 86
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 9, 09 at 8:45pm

    8:39 su u uckssss and also sucks.

  • 75 89
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 9, 09 at 11:14pm

    10:34 your parents must be so proud of blessing you with loose standards and big loose pussy.

  • 69 80
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 9, 09 at 11:33pm

    Not that Im against bj skills, but what a douchey thing to say

  • 72 86
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 9, 09 at 9:49pm

    Hahahaha. Absolutely not fake. Just responding to a text sent by my boyfriend. :]

  • 66 76
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 10, 09 at 3:08pm

    1:59... Way to fail at spelling bj

  • 74 93
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 9, 09 at 8:24pm

    You get special consideration in the interview if you swallow.

  • 71 88
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 10, 09 at 8:15am

    A vag is not a popsicle. Popsicles don't queef, bleed, leak, stink, or pop out small popsicles

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 9, 09 at 8:31pm

    If a girl doesn't give blowjobs to her boyfriend in 2009, she is just asking him to cheat.

  • 65 84
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 9, 09 at 11:19pm

    Keepin it classy, eh CENLA?

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 9, 09 at 8:13pm

    Or stamped on your forehead at the bar so it's easier to find the loose one at the end of the night.

  • 57 75
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 10, 09 at 3:01am

    Most guys are worse off at cjs. The vag is NOT an popsicle.

  • 68 98
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 9, 09 at 8:07pm

    Closer to "at least half-awesome texts" on the tfln resume. This is not amusing.

  • 61 89
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 9, 09 at 9:41pm

    it's not a blow job until she licks your choda

  • 61 90
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 10, 09 at 1:59pm

    A CJ? That's so fucking stupid.

  • 59 86
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 9, 09 at 11:39pm

    It's neither unclassy nor douchey to say as a joke to the person you're dating. Geez.

  • 54 78
    Submitted by justlovelyy on May 20, 10 at 10:39pm

    Worst pickup line ever

  • 57 84
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 9, 09 at 8:53pm

    rather toss a salad any day

  • 63 98
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 9, 09 at 10:42pm

    White girl suck my thang yesterday

  • 56 86
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 9, 09 at 8:29pm

    In Soviet Russia, everybody have "awesome blowjobs" on resume.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 9, 09 at 11:18pm

    I'll blow a fat load in your face, bitch!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 9, 09 at 9:51pm

    So damn true... No way in he'll I'm taking you out for diner and shit with my cut hours if you have less then amazing oral talent and wont swallow... It's tough out there

  • 50 81
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 10, 09 at 2:08am

    "here's the deal: a guy will only help you with your emotions as long as you pay him with a blowjob."

  • 53 88
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 10, 09 at 12:32am

    Hanging like my nuts

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 9, 09 at 10:34pm

    I have 9 inch dicks on my resume. If I'm gonna risk being pregnant it's not gonna be some 7 inch dude no girl is truly happy with

  • 46 80
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 9, 09 at 10:17pm

    haha yea I totally knew this wasn't fake because I've had conversations exactly like this. I had one Saturday night, in fact.

  • 50 97
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 13, 09 at 10:32pm

    and the sad thing is when i read this the first thought that came to mind was oh so qualified