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  • i doubt 9:51 is getting many offers anyway considering he's actually fucking stupid enough to say "no way in he'll." seriously though, i hope that was some kind of joke.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 9, 09 at 10:05pm
  • 1:59... Way to fail at spelling bj

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 10, 09 at 3:08pm
  • Most girls think they give "awesome blow jobs," unfortunately most do not, you got to talk them through it, gets old. Too many marks telling them they do it right, when they really don't

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 9, 09 at 8:12pm
  • If a girl doesn't give blowjobs to her boyfriend in 2009, she is just asking him to cheat.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 9, 09 at 8:31pm
  • Hahahaha. Absolutely not fake. Just responding to a text sent by my boyfriend. :]

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 9, 09 at 9:49pm
  • 8:39 su u uckssss and also sucks.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 9, 09 at 8:45pm
  • 8:31 is a douche bag. I give head but like fuck not all girls want to suck your cock. Sorry honey, try washing.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 9, 09 at 9:28pm
  • Hey 8:31, if a guy Is not an amazing lay who knows what he's doing in 2009, he's just asking for for her to cheat. Guys can't handle it when the tables are turned.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 9, 09 at 9:45pm
  • 10:34 your parents must be so proud of blessing you with loose standards and big loose pussy.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 9, 09 at 11:14pm
  • Or stamped on your forehead at the bar so it's easier to find the loose one at the end of the night.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 9, 09 at 8:13pm
  • You get special consideration in the interview if you swallow.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 9, 09 at 8:24pm
  • Most guys are worse off at cjs. The vag is NOT an popsicle.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 10, 09 at 3:01am
  • I have 9 inch dicks on my resume. If I'm gonna risk being pregnant it's not gonna be some 7 inch dude no girl is truly happy with

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 9, 09 at 10:34pm
  • Not that Im against bj skills, but what a douchey thing to say

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 9, 09 at 11:33pm
  • A vag is not a popsicle. Popsicles don't queef, bleed, leak, stink, or pop out small popsicles

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 10, 09 at 8:15am
  • Keepin it classy, eh CENLA?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 9, 09 at 11:19pm
  • rather toss a salad any day

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 9, 09 at 8:53pm
  • "here's the deal: a guy will only help you with your emotions as long as you pay him with a blowjob."

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 10, 09 at 2:08am
  • It's neither unclassy nor douchey to say as a joke to the person you're dating. Geez.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 9, 09 at 11:39pm
  • Closer to "at least half-awesome texts" on the tfln resume. This is not amusing.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 9, 09 at 8:07pm
  • I'll blow a fat load in your face, bitch!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 9, 09 at 11:18pm
  • So damn true... No way in he'll I'm taking you out for diner and shit with my cut hours if you have less then amazing oral talent and wont swallow... It's tough out there

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 9, 09 at 9:51pm
  • it's not a blow job until she licks your choda

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 9, 09 at 9:41pm
  • White girl suck my thang yesterday

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 9, 09 at 10:42pm
  • In Soviet Russia, everybody have "awesome blowjobs" on resume.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 9, 09 at 8:29pm
  • and the sad thing is when i read this the first thought that came to mind was oh so qualified

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 13, 09 at 10:32pm
  • Worst pickup line ever

    Submitted by justlovelyy on May 20, 10 at 10:39pm
  • haha yea I totally knew this wasn't fake because I've had conversations exactly like this. I had one Saturday night, in fact.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 9, 09 at 10:17pm
  • A CJ? That's so fucking stupid.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 10, 09 at 1:59pm
  • Hanging like my nuts

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 10, 09 at 12:32am