dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
