I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
we should paint friendship bongs
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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