if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Its about making memories worth repressing
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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