i think my mom watched the whole time
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
