last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
