just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
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