Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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