I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
