Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize