i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
