Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize
