omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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