Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
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