dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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