just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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