If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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