YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
