if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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