Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
