why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
