awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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