the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
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I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
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The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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