My balls are so social today.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
