I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
dude. I can hear the air.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
