I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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