Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
