I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
And then my night got REAL pukey
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize