I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
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Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
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yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I just want nice things and good sex
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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