What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
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Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
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He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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