Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
