Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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