im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Randomize
