I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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