i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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