Don't you send me to vm
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
