just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
