She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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