SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
