some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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