Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
