She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
