i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
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