if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
