she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
