so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
