yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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